Dear Rafi,



The sages and the Halachic arbiters disagree about oral sex.



Rabbi Yochanan the son of Dahabai said: Four things did the ministering angels tell me.

1. The child of one who has anal sex with his wife will be lame.

2. The child of one who has oral sex will be mute.

3. The child of one who speaks crudely during sex will be deaf.

4. The child of one who looks at his wife’s sexual organs will be blind.



But according to the Sages, “Whatever a man wants to do with his wife he may do [oral and anal sex]. A parable; Meat which comes from the abattoir may be eaten salted, roasted, cooked, or boiled” (Nedarim 20a-b).



According to the ruling of the Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 240:4) one may not kiss his wife’s genitals (oral sex) nor even look at them. He wrote:

“It is forbidden to look at that place (the woman’s genitals), for any who look there has no shame and transgresses against ‘walk humbly’ (Michah 6:8)…and of course any who kiss there transgress against all this and more, for he transgresses against ‘You shall not draw abomination upon yourselves’.”



Yet according to Maimonides these things are permitted.

“A man’s wife is permitted to him, so anything a man wishes to do with his wife he does, he has intercourse with her whenever he wishes and kisses any organ he wishes [and has intercourse with her vaginally and otherwise] as long as he does not spill his seed in vain” (Laws of Forbidden Intercourse 21:9).



Note that the prohibition is against a man performing oral sex on his wife, not the other way around.



What is so amazing in these laws (relating to intimate relations) is that religious people have managed to penetrate into the most intimate places of grown people. This is only because of a person’s childish need for a framework even in matters of sex, instead of an adult acceptance of responsibility for his wants and desires.

From this you can extrapolate to other everyday matters and see how far religion infringes upon a man’s choice and freedom.



Sincerely,



Daat Emet