One of the sages, Rav, argued that people must watch their tongues and words and keep from speaking in a manner which is sexually licentious, for even speech between a husband and wife is subject to the judgment of the Heavenly Court after a person’s death. The scholars asked: There was an incident involving a sage, Rav Kahane, who hid beneath the bed of Rav and his wife when they were having sexual relations. He heard Rav speaking to his wife before having sexual relations with her, and he used sexually licentious speech and terminology, to the extent that Rav Kahane said that Rav acted “like one who had never tasted of this dish [sexual relations] before.” Rav, therefore, spoke in terms to excite sexual desire, in contradiction to his own ruling. Answer: The prohibition against sexual speech with a woman is not a universal prohibition. If the purpose of the speech is to arouse the woman’s desire it is permitted, but if she is already aroused one is forbidden to speak to her in a licentious manner to heighten that desire.
(Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Chagigah 5b)